アサーティブコミュニケーション【初対面の人との関わり方】

「知らない人と話すときに緊張して、何を話していいのかわからない。」「相手がどんなタイプかわからないから不安」「ビジネス関係がなければ、話せるんだけど」など、初対面の人との会話に、苦手意識を感じている方も多いかと思います。

なぜ苦手なのか、どういう相手が苦手なのか。逆にどういう相手なら平気なのか。自分の症状を分析し、それに合う対処法を選んで、苦手意識を解消しましょう。

①目的をはっきりさせる

まず、相手との位置関係を正しく認識することが大切です。どういう位置関係で、なぜ会っているのか。

その人に、自分は何を伝えたいのか。

相手との位置関係がわかれば、相手のニーズや関心事もおおよそ見当がつくはず。あっている理由や目的が明確なら、伝えるべきポイントや話の優先順位も整理できます。

ビジネスの場合は「自分はこの人にないをしてもらいたいか」をはっきりさせて会話に臨むことが大切です。

例えば、営業で初めて訪問する会社の担当者に、「商品を買ってもらいたいのか」「とりあえず商品のことを理解してもらいたいのか」「自分の会社のことを知ってほしいのか」

相手に取ってもらいたい行動をイメージしながら、何を伝えたらそうしてくれそうか、自分はどんな「win」を相手に提供できそうか考えてから、訪問しましょう。

②相手の話をきちんと聞く

自分の話を聞いてもらうには、まず相手がどんな話なら「聞きたい」か考えてから、話をすることが大切です。

そのためにはまず、相手の話を聞いて、相手のキーワードをたくさん拾うことが大切です。

初対面の会話で拾ったキーワードは、必ず次の機会に活きます。

「作業効率の向上が一番の課題、とおっしゃっていましたよね。今日は御社の効率アップに役立つ商品をお持ちしました。」

きちんと聞いているからこそ「winwin」の提案ができる。相手にとって本当にメリットのある話ができれば聞いてもらえるし、それを実感できれば、初対面の会話にも、必要以上に苦手意識を持つことなく臨めるはずです。

③自己紹介は15秒で

話すより「聞く」ことが大切とお話ししましたが、いきなり聞いても相手も警戒します。まずは自己紹介で、あなたの「win」を本気で考えているということを知ってもらう必要があります。

初対面の自己紹介で伝えるポイント5つ

  1. あなたが相手に関心を持っていることを伝える。
  2. 今日、伝えたいことを相手メリットで予告する。
  3. 相手メリットで、あなたの実績をアピールする。

1.あなたが相手に関心を持っていることを伝える。

今日お会いできたこと、忙しいところ時間を作ってくれたこと、この二つの感謝を伝えます。

「御社の〇〇の商品は、私も〇〇の視点からすごく興味があります」と相手へ関心を持っていることを伝えます。

2.今日、伝えたいことを相手メリットで予告する。

相手が安心してあなたの話が聞けるよう、今日、伝えたいことの内容と所要時間の目安を予告します。ここは相手メリットで予告することが大事です。

「事務の効率化に役立つ商品をご提案します。当社でも一番の売れ筋商品で、多くのお客様にご好評いただいております。」これなら2つのメリットを提示できます。

3.相手メリットで、あなたの実績をアピールする。

「すでに3社に導入していただき、作業時間を4割削減した実績があります。」

など「この人の話なら、聞く価値がありそうだ」と思ってもらえるような実績や経験など、裏付けとなるデータを示すことが大切です。

事前に、相手が目の前にいるつもりで、声に出してリハーサルしていくといいでしょう。15秒しかありませんから、無駄な言葉は入れず、しかし早口にならず、落ち着いた雰囲気で話せるようにリハーサルしておきましょう。

④目の前のゴールに固執しない

しっかり準備したうえで、本番では相手の反応を見ながら、話を広げたり、方向修正したり。

自分の言いたいことをたくさん言うより、相手の言葉を一つでも多く“拾う”ことを心がけましょう。

相手に関心があることを示し、相手にもあなたに関心を持ってもらう。これが初対面のトークのゴールです。

たとえ「NO」と言われても、がっかりする必要はありません。それは相手の選択「そうなんだ。」とニュートラルに受け止めましょう。

この人に固執せず、別の人に会う、別の方法でゴールを達成する。

自分の本当のゴールが見えてれば、目の前のYESに固執したりNOにとらわれて自分を否定されたような気分になることもないはずです。

まとめ

初めから話が上手な人はいません。それぞれ、どうしたら上手くコミュニケーションがとれるのか、尊敬する上司をマネする人や、コミュニケーションを勉強する人、ひたすら自分で練習する人、人それぞれのやり方があるはずです。

自分のやり方を見つけて、その方法に、今回お話したことを、頭に入れながらコミュニケーションを取っていくといいでしょう。まずは、やってみることが大切です。

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