ストレスに対して強くなるためには!?

一つの出来事があったとき、みなさんはどのように受け止めていますか?

例えば、職場で上司から重要な仕事を任せられたとき、「期待されている。いい機会をもらった。」と考えるか、

「無理だ、できない。」と考えるか、どちらでしょうか?

ある一つの出来事(ストレッサ―)に対して、人は自分なりのフィルターを通して、物事を考え、捉えています。出来事を変えることはできませんが、そのフィルターを作っているのは自分自身です。

自分で作っているフィルターなので、自分で作りかえることができます。そのフィルターを変えることで、出来事の受け止め方、捉え方を変えることができます。

フィルターとは?

フィルターはその人の過去の経験や考え方の癖によって、作られています。

そのため、自分自身も気づかないままに、負の意味づけをして、悪い結果を引き寄せていることがあります。

人は頭の中で考えたことを無意識に行動します。

そのため、悪い結果を思い描けば、実際にそのような結果になってしまうという負のループがなってしまうのです。

逆に良い意味づけをしている人はどうでしょうか。

良い意味づけを頭の中で考えているので、無意識に良い結果になるように行動します。

そのため、同じ出来事があったとしても、良い結果が導かれるようになっており、負の意味づけをしている人とは全く別の結果になります。

では、どうしたら出来事に対する意味づけを変えることができるのでしょうか?

意味づけを変えるには、筋トレするように、少しずつ毎日、トレーニングしていくことで変えることができます。

一つの出来事により嫌な気持ちになったとき、ふと立ち止まって、もう一度その出来事について考えてみてください。

「本当にそうなのか?」「違った見方はできないか?」

例えば、仕事で上司に注意されたとします。

そのとき、「叱られた。悲しい。」と思うことがあったとします。

そこで、自分が感じた感情は一旦受け止めます。自分は「叱られて悲しい」気持ちになっている。

しかし、その後、冷静になりもう一度、上司に注意された出来事について考えてみます。

「自分のことが嫌いで言ったわけではない。」「間違ったことを正してほしいという気持ちで言ったことなのかも。」「正しいことを自分に教えて成長してほしいと思って言ってくれたのかもしれない。」

そのように少しずつ出来事の捉え方を変えていくと、「叱られて悲しい」気持ちから、間違いを正して、次の仕事をやっていこうという気持ちに変化していきます。

どんな小さな出来事でもいいのです。

出来ることから少しずつ、いつもと違う受け止め方を考えてみてください。

お勧めの意味付けトレーニング

お勧めの方法は、出来事をノートに書き出し、その出来事により自分が思ったこと、感じたことを書きます。

そこで、違った受け止め方ができなかったのか考え、頭に思い浮かんだことをノートに書き出します。

ノートに書き出してみると、より頭の中が整理されて、受け止め方の癖が分かったり、違う受け止め方ができることを気づきやすくなります。

毎日、違う受け止め方はないかと考えていると、少しずつ、受け止め方が変わっていくことを実感できるかと思います。是非試してみてください。

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